Poris

Poris is thy beautiful and grate being. He takes many forms, but most commonly appears as a congealed and pedoish old man.

Description & Habits
Poris is thy most wrinkled man, despite being 33 years old (although he has been 33 for over 80 years [as of April 2018 DD]), Poris' daily routine consists cheifly of power-wanking over pictures of dead penguins. Under his luscious locks is a layer of thick luminescent paints, although thime shalt see them for nary a day, due to thy beard blocking thy view. He also has thy unscrupulous ability to regrow lost limbs, and he gained this odd ability from witnessing his mother's abrupt rapage. He reacted violently, squeezing thy attacker's sphincter delicately but harshly all at once, and this caused the attacker to squeal before shitting briskly into Poris' mouth. Poris consumed the shet quite happily, and subsequently gipped it back up onto his toes, which dissolved. Luckily, the shit was magical, and his lower phalanges swiftly grew back. He also adulterises corpses, and congeals into thy goatage regularly.

Birth
Nobody is aware of thy Poris' birth, but we do know that he was living life as a house plant in old Mavis' house until upon thy day of thy 2nd of April, 1938. He swiftly escaped, avoiding thy Mavis' simmerage as she threw powerful bouts of boiling arse-water at him, extracted freshly from herself. After he had jumped out of thy window, he discovered that he was, in fact, in Azerbijan.

Childhood
After living thy normal life of being an old, white, peodoish-looking fellow, he, after 3 years, began self-identifying as a fish. He swam thy Blasted Seas, and smoked shit-spliffs on thy regs. One day, a rather stumpy knobfish attempted to rape him, so he whipped out his uncdercock as a repellant, unluckily, thy knobfish simply ate his knob off, and saved the rest for bollock pie.

Adulthood
In thy 60s, thy Poris rigoorously and vigorously raped thy corpse, and this event of bountiful heathly pleasures is now known as Thy Love Story of Poris, and is grandly witnessed by Grate Men and peasantish men alike - daily!

Congealment
Thy Poris sadly congealed with thyself, and became thy goat. We have not heard from Poris since.There is thy well-documented nostril-oriented documentary of this event rate aboot here.