Baanguştarin

Baanguştarin is an awful dickhead with nigger lips and tinged forehead-spots. He has been known to do dirty deeds such as de-braid fish hair and desecrate heaths. His long, flowing locks are reminiscent of the hair of strokey nonces, and his protruding teeth can become long and serrated in order to free nog volunteers. Below his anaemic eyes lie saggy bags containing Wren's Super Wax Shoe Polish. It is entirely plausible that these could be pierced with toast tongs for quick access. His height varies depending on how much water he is exposed to, and when he has been dehydrated and unsubmerged for extended periods of time he can be mistaken for a newborn Carol Vorderman.